The topic of “our mind” is such an intricate yet overwhelming subject of discussion, there’s been numerous studies into complexities and capabilities of our mind and it’s believed we only utilise a small fraction. As sales reps and even ordinary human beings, what sets the really successful ones from the rest is their mindset. There is a book on “mindset” by Dr. Carol S Dweck which I would implore you all to read.
This blog would focus on 8 unhelpful thinking habits, very often they occur just before and during distressing situations. Once you are able to notice them, that can help you to challenge or distance yourself from those thoughts, and see the situation in a different and more helpful way.
1. Mental Filter – When we notice only what the filter allows us to notice, and we dismiss any that that doesn’t fit. It’s like looking through dark blinkers or ‘gloomy specs’ when we get these thoughts we need to establish our self awareness and ask ourselves;
- Am I noticing the bad stuff?
- Am I filtering out the positives?
- Am I wearing those ‘gloomy specs”?
- What would be more realistic?
Example:
How many times have you said to yourself or someone regarding a prospect you met, “Julie is actually a nice person, my first impressions were false, I actually think she’d be a good coach/champion.
2. Mind-Reading – Assuming we know what others are thinking ( usually about us ), pause and ask yourself
- Am I assuming I know what others are thinking?
- What’s the evidence?
- Is there another, more balanced way of looking at it?
- Remember, these could be your thoughts and not theirs!
Example:
You’re at a first meeting with your prospect and he’s invited 2 other stakeholders, one of them is particularly quiet and observant, which is largely down to their nature and personality type (The Steady Type).
- You immediately start telling yourself stories such as;
- Why is he so quiet?
- Is he stereotyping me as another selfish sales person?
- Perhaps he’s not fond of me
- Etc etc
When this happens, let’s remember to pause and think, as this could be our thoughts and not theirs.
3. Critical Self- This is when we put ourselves down, self criticism, blaming ourselves for events or situations that are outside of our control. Always remember there are two forces always fighting in your mind, the “Positive” and “Negative’ thoughts – and you need to ensure you subdue the negative thoughts. You can do this through speaking out loud positive affirmations such as:
- I am a wonderful person and totally in control of my mind.
- I am responsible for my actions and reactions.
- My positive thoughts have subdued anything negative.
Example:
You work several months on an opportunity, you conduct all the right activities and through circumstances outside of your control, you lose it to a competitor.
When asked to conduct a “deal lost” review you become overly critical and negative about the situation. I know of colleagues who are fond of this and we need to remember the points above.
4. Judgements – this is one which practically applies to the majority of us, as human beings and specifically sales reps, we have been somewhat conditioned to judge and evaluate “situations’ which typically forms our personalities. This judgement trait is how we are able to uncover opportunities, intuitively forecast deals and ultimately help in forming relationships. When exercising this trait, we should always remember to ask ourselves;
- I’m making an evaluation about the situation or person. It’s how I make sense of the world, but that doesn’t mean my judgements are always right or helpful. Is there another perspective?
Example:
You are about to qualify out an opportunity that’s has been in your pipeline for sometime. However, rather than rationalising your reason based on certain criteria ( link to blog with business plan with deal qualification ), your decision is emotionally related and specifically based on you misjudging a person or situation.
5. Emotional Reasoning – I feel bad so it must be bad!I feel anxious, so I must be in danger. Just because it feels bad, doesn’t necessarily mean it is bad. Our feelings are just a reaction to our thoughts – and thoughts are just automatic brain reflexes.
Example:
You’ve had terrible quarter thus far, there’s one week to the end of the quarter and the FY. Your one and only key opportunity to save your quarter, FY and your job is hanging on the balance as you’ve been informed by your coach that the stakeholders are leaning towards your competitors proposal based on their decision criteria.
You begin to become anxious and this negative thought clouds your mind and any hope of winning this clients business, the thought of losing your job adds to this stress.
6. Mountains and Molehills- Exaggerating the risk of danger, or the negatives. Minimising the odds of how things are most likely to turn out, or minimising positives. Always think to yourself:
- Am I exaggerating the bad stuff?
- How would someone else see it?
- Whats most likely to happen?
Example:
When you are in a competitive situation and you conduct a deal review and you dwell on the negative( i.e the cons of your solution ) which evokes feelings of danger in your deal.
In situations like this, yes it’s good to be aware of your cons and find ways to minimise the impact. That said, we should focus on our strengths as this is what we can control.
7. Black and white thinking – Believing that something or someone can be only good or bad, right or wrong, rather than anything in-between or ‘shades or grey’. Question to ask;
- Things aren’t totally white or black – there are shades of grey. Where is this one on the spectrum?
Example:
Attending a sales training course which doesn’t support your already established processes of selling, you completely dismiss this new process as outrightly bad.
This could be quite contradictory in sales, as we are taught “yes” are good, “no” is good and “maybe” is bad.
My advise, we should use our intuition here.
8. Memories – Current situations and events can trigger upsetting memories, leading us to believe that danger is here and now, rather than in the past, causing us distress right now. Remember – This is just a reminder of the past. This was then, and this is now. Even though this memory makes me feel upset, it’s not actually happening again right now.
Example:
You begin working on a new opportunity which bears all the traits of another opportunity you worked on in the past which you lost unfortunately.
Your initial reaction is, I’ve been here before but remember, this was in the past and the new opportunity is now.
It’s been insightful writing this post, this has made me reflect on a number of scenario’s which when applied the techniques above, would have changed the outcome of those scenarios. My final thoughts on this topic is that our thoughts control our feelings and this consequently is what our actions reflect.
Lets be conscious of our thoughts and always be self and socially aware of whats happening around us, this could only improve us as sales professionals and ultimately help us in building lasting relationships with our clients.
If you found this useful, feel free to comment. If you or your organisation require support in this area, do contact me and I will introduce you to our Mental Health Expert.
P.S- do contact me at mike@metricdrivenselling.com should you need any further help around mental fitness.
To Our Growth
Mike
