In my first post ( The Story, Mike, can you be my mentor ) on the mentoring series, I shared the story of how I was suddenly asked by a colleague to be his mentor. Without no prior knowledge on how to mentor, I quickly got to work and eventually devised a plan and cadence. These subsequent posts will focus on the roles and expectations of Mentors, Mentee’s and Mentee Managers.
Mentoring is vital to our development and success, something we should all embrace and treat it as a pre requisite to success. Why would you not want to learn from someone who has been down the road you’re about to travel on? It’s a fact that you cannot reach your destination without encountering obstacles, there are bound to be some bumps and challenges. The more you can be aware of these challenges the better you can become prepared for it.
The scenario below is an extract from one of my favourite books written by Rabbi Daniel Lapin.
Consider, how many different patterns a single coin can make when flipped? Two, right? It can land either heads or tails. Now, how about if we toss two coins simultaneously. These two coins can produce four combinations; H-T, T-H, T-T, or H-H. It is fairly easy to see that if we added another coin to make three coins tossed together, we’d arrive at 8 different ways those 3 coins could fall.
Now, what if instead of coins we used dice, each offering six options? Thus, two dice thrown simultaneously could land in 36 different possible arrangements and three dice would produce 216 possibilities. The more options each unit has, the greater the consequence of throwing a few together.
The above extract is profoundly insightful. If we relate this to humans, one person can have a certain respectable level of success however, two or more people with different options ( ideas, personalities, connections etc ) would yield infinite possibilities. Think about this, Daniel then goes on to say it’s no surprise Silicon Valley is classed as the technology hub. This isn’t by chance, it’s a result of individuals with different options who cross pollinate to drive the success of ideas and initiatives. If I was to take it a step further and asked the question, what percentage of these Silicon Valley founders have mentors?
I certainly do not have the correct survey data for this, but I know for certain, the vast majority of founders and CEO’s have mentors, therefore the answer to the question above could be seen as rhetorical.
By and large, mentoring plays a huge role in this, as the mentor and the mentee would come together and through both leveraging their ideas, the resulting possibilities would always be greater that just the mentee/mentor on their own. This gets even far greater when the mentor opens the mentee to his/her network for further mentoring, I think you get the gist.
Having spent the last few years building my knowledge around the topic of mentorship, I’ve summarised my findings from speaking with colleagues and their expectations when it comes to mentoring.
Mentors:
- To offer direction and feedback
- To focus on developmental issues rather than performance issues
- To use their experiences to guide and shape the conversations, and to share their own perspectives and examples about development
- To follow through on commitments
Mentee:
- They should own their development and be responsible and accountable to action points agreed
- They should be responsible for scheduling meetings
- Offer clarity on the help they require around development and career goals
- Be openminded and willing to take on board newer ideas
- Exercise patience, persistence and perseverance throughout the engagement
- Show humility and appreciation
- Put into practice the advice offered by the mentor
- Keep your directors and managers updated on your progress
Mentee’s Manager:
- To work with their employees and help them device a development plan that aligns to their goals
- Make time to ensure regular catch ups
- To provide regular feedback to their employee
I am a firm believer in setting ground rules, this is no different when it comes to mentoring. This should be set at the start of the mentoring relationship, critically, this should be mutually agreed between the mentor and the mentee.
Below are some common ground rules I’ve come across through my research;
- Focus – From the first engagement, you should both define your purpose and set clear and concise goals and objectives
- Dedication – Both parties must be dedicated to the success of the engagement. This means agreeing on a regular schedule, an agenda, followups and undertaking any agreed action items
- Collaboration – This is a 2 way process, like an iron sharpens another iron – it should be recognised that this is a partnership and only through cooperation would this partnership become a success
- Respect – Both parties should show humility and respect regardless of your status, level, power or authority. This means showing empathy and always asking yourself, how would I feel if the roles were reversed?
- Confidentiality – To maintain the integrity of the relationship, sensitive topics should be kept confidential. Only through this could be build trust and ensure longevity in the mentor-mentee relationship.
I will be posting Part 2 on this very soon, stay tuned and stay safe.
To Our Growth
Mike